IT BROKE ME DOWN! I did not know what to do. It was hard to live with the pain of loving someone, who would never love you back. Well, it was the similar story of every one-sided lover and I was no exception. My depression turned into frustration and I started shutting out people. I would keep checking my phone for his messages. I spent less time with my family. Day and night the constant thought of Verone would keep me up. His single text was like Manna dropped for me from heaven. Just like I changed, he did too. Verone would talk to me less but no more he was frank. His replies were now short and mostly in monosyllables. I never realized my change in behavior affected him too. Worse, I was still in the friend-zone! God, how much love does this heart has to lose?
There were times, when I would break down in front of my friends or sob silently at night holding my pillows. Wish my pillow could talk just for once! I would underestimate myself and blame myself for all this. Sometimes my friends would find me in deep contemplation and on asking I would stay silent. Those were the times when I would curse that girl who broke Verone's heart before and put him off the idea of love. Just because of her, Verone is scared of love now. He never got the love he deserved and if someone wants to show and make him feel that way, he won't let it happen. It was as if fire was trying to convince water. All this depression and mental torture changed me. I forgot who I was. I was in the dark and instead of trying to get out of it, I was embracing the darkness with my whole heart. My friends knew that the smile I put up on my face was facade. To be honest, everything was fake about me at that time, whatever I said, or whatever I did. My best friends would ask me to give up on him as they couldn't see me breaking apart but their requests fell on deaf ears. Days went by and my condition got worse. I never met him but I wanted to. None could help me. Everything was falling apart for me and soon my doom came and everything changed that day….
I had a brutal argument with Nicole about Verone. She wanted me to forget him but how could I? The argument never ended and I stomped off angrily. She kept calling my name from behind. I was so pissed off that I never paid attention where I was heading too. The last thing I remember was the honking of a car and then darkness… When I opened my eyes, I saw only white and in an unfamiliar room which was the hospital. Slowly, everything fell into place. I met with a fatal accident. My condition was critical. I was badly hit by a car and my life was in a peril.
After two weeks of continuous treatment, the doctor declared that I was out of danger but I had a memory loss of all the recent activities which happened in my life. Recent people I met, food I tasted, the dresses I wanted to buy or I bought, all this washed away and so did HE! After I left the hospital, I started living a new life. I did recognize my family and my best friends. Back in school, some were new faces even though I knew them before. My pedagogues even helped me in reminiscing my past. Some came back in pieces and others were not so convincing. I was happy again and was living fully until I started getting the nightmares.
It was already two months since my accident. Everything was going fine till the face was back! I started getting nightmares about that day of the accident and sometimes a face would pop-up in my dream. I could not recognize but it always seemed familiar. My brain could never recognize but my heart would say that I do know the person and that I have a connection with this face. I told my parents about it but they couldn't give me any information as they were clueless themselves. My last hope were my friends and so I told them everything. I will never forget that look on their face ever.
It was as if they had seen a ghost. The stupefied look on their faces assured me that they knew who he was. On pressurizing, Stella confessed everything. Once again, the unknown became my known. Stella blabbered about how Verone knew everything about my accident and how he blamed himself for my doom. He promised Stella that he would never contact me because according to him, his presence in my life was in infelicitous and regrets the thought that he came in my life. He had hurt me already and he can't do it anymore. All the broken pieces of my memory that got washed away, came crashing down. I broke down that day as the pieces which the doctor thought I had lost was back! That day I wept for my long,lost love but it was too late.
"Did he contact you, Ana?" Jacob, asked in a whispering tone, holding my hand. I crashed to reality and a tear slipped down from my left eye, as I nodded sideways. He heaved a sigh and pressed my hand harder.
"But he was there in my thoughts always. I can never forget him. Maybe, whatever dreams and fantasies I built with him, they never came true in reality but I achieved them through my book. He was,is and always will be within me. I think a part of credit for this book goes to him. I really loved him, still do and will continue always. I can never ever replace him. Maybe we were not destined to live together. God has other plans for us and I wish he is happy no matter wherever he is." I smiled as I said to all of them.
"Its true then… You become a writer only under two condition, either presence of love or absence of love. Ana, you wrote under the second condition but you portrayed your work to the world under the first condition." Amelia said to everyone in the room and everyone nodded.
"I don't know. Maybe I did. Verone Smith is an important part of my life and I want to cherish it forever." I replied with a smile.
"Ya, you will." Cody assured me smiling. I smiled back. "Strange, that such a beautiful love story actually has a darker story and is nothing to what Ana wrote. Ana, do you think he knows?"
I looked up at Cody and gave him a mysterious smile.
–END–
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