Losing your virginity can seem a scary experience, coupled with the myths you must have heard about it. Sometimes it’s hard to pick out what’s true about becoming sexually active for the first time. Until you've actually had a session between the sheets, the world of sex can seem both alluring and scary. Whether you’re saving your virginity for your wedding night or still waiting for the right person, here’s what you should know before you take that plunge. 1. Losing your virginity isn’t just penis in the vagina: There are different ways to lose your virginity. It is not just penis in the vagina. It might involve anal sex, oral sex, manual stimulation, dildos, whatever. Maybe you have this equation in your head, penis plus vagina equals loss of virginity. But what if you’re gay, does that mean you are you an eternal virgin? So losing your virginity might or might not involve penetration. 2. Your first time might be awkward: It might probably be short and not particularly fantastic. It takes time and practice to get it right but you’ll eventually get there. READ ALSO: 5 Signs You Are No Longer In Love with Your Partner 3. You might not bleed: Not everybody bleeds the first time they have sex, though some women bleed a lot. The bleeding comes from tearing the hymen, which is basically just tissue inside the vagina. All women have different amounts of hymenal tissue which may tear or stretch the first time you have sex. Plus, the hymen can tear from a variety of things, like physical activity, masturbation and fingering. Chances are, you already tore it a bit while exercising or just by being an active human. 4. You can get pregnant and or sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) the first time: Quite unfortunately, there are no free passes for first timers. If your first time involves a penis releasing inside a vagina, you can absolutely get pregnant. You can also get STDs. So before you decide to roll under the sheets, consider protecting yourself against pregnancy and STDs. 5. Using protection will not make it less enjoyable: The important thing is to be safe. You need to practice safe sex once you take that decision to become sexually active. Using protection will not make the sex any less enjoyable. 6. It might hurt a little: A little pain or pressure might be expected the first time you have sex. This could because you’re not well lubricated. This means you will need more foreplay or lubrication. Your body needs a warm-up phase of kissing, touching and so on which could get you aroused and wet. But, if it hurts a lot, you should stop. READ ALSO: 5 Things You Should Never Disclose In A Relationship 7. Losing your virginity comes with fear of the unknown: Once you become sexually active, a late period can cause you to panic. So before you decide to lose your virginity, you should have a well thought out plan for birth control, especially if you are not married. Understand that sex can bring life-changing consequences, like pregnancy or an STD you'll have for the rest of your life. 8. It can make or mar your relationship: It can either bring you closer to your partner or cause a rift between the both of you. Don’t think that because you lost your virginity to him, he’s going to love you and stay with you forever. The only thing that guarantees that is caring deeply about each other which has nothing to do with you losing your virginity. 9. It may not go your way: You might have envisioned in your mind what it will be like, mind-blowing and beyond words just like in the movies. You probably spent time planning but it might not go down the way you planned. It’s better not to think too much about what to expect or you might end up disappointed. READ ALSO: Dangers of Dating Men Who Kiss and Tell 10. You are not how you lost your virginity Whether your first time was good, bad or just there, it doesn’t define what sex will always be like for you. Your first time might not be good at all, maybe because you were forced or abused. This however does not mean all your sexual experiences are going to be that bad. Read more: https://www.naija.ng/702990-10-important-things-nobody-tells-losing-virginity.html#702990
Sunday, February 4, 2018
Saturday, February 3, 2018
The eternal bond between brother and aister
I was born in a secluded village on a mountain. Day after day, my parents plowed the yellow dry soil with their backs towards the sky. One day, I wanted to buy a handkerchief, which all girls around me seemed to have. So, one day I stole 50 cents from my father’s drawer. Father discovered about the stolen money right away.
“Who stole the money?” he asked my brother and me. I was stunned, too afraid to talk. Neither of us admitted to the fault, so he said, “Fine, if nobody wants to admit, you both should be punished!” Suddenly, my younger brother gripped Father’s hand and said, “Dad, I was the one who did it!” He took the blame, and punishment, for me.
In the middle of the night, all of sudden, I cried out loudly. My brother covered my mouth with his little hand and said, “Sis, now don’t cry anymore. Everything has happened.” I will never forget my brother’s expression when he protected me. That year, my brother was 8 years old and I was 11 years old. I still hate myself for not having enough courage to admit what I did. Years went by, but the incident still seemed like it just happened yesterday.
When my brother was in his last year of secondary school, he was accepted in an upper secondary school in the central part of town. At the same time, I was accepted into a university in the province. That night, Father squatted in the yard, smoking packet by packet. I could hear him ask my mother, “Both of our children, they have good results? Very good results?” Mother wiped off her tears and sighed, “What is the use? How can we possibly finance both of them?”
At that time, my brother walked out, he stood in front of Father and said, “Dad, I don’t want to continue my study anymore, I have read enough books.” Father became angry. “Why do you have a spirit so weak? Even if it means I have to beg for money on the streets, I will send you two to school until you have both finished your studies!” And then, he started to knock on every house in the village to borrow money.
I stuck out my hand as gently as I could to my brother’s face, and told him, “A boy has to continue his study. If not, he will not be able to overcome this poverty we are experiencing.” I, on the other hand, had decided not to further my study at the university.
Nobody knew that on the next day, before dawn, my brother left the house with a few pieces of worn-out clothes and a few dry beans. He sneaked to my side of the bed and left a note on my pillow, “Sis, getting into a university is not easy. I will go find a job and I will send money to you.” I held the note while sitting on my bed, and cried until I lost my voice.
With the money father borrowed from the whole village, and the money my brother earned from carrying cement on his back at a construction site, finally, I managed to get to the third year of my study in the university. That year, my brother was 17 years old and I was 20 years old.
One day, while I was studying in my room, my roommate came in and told me, “There’s a villager waiting for you outside!” Why would there be a villager looking for me? I walked out, and I saw my brother from afar. His whole body was covered with dirt, dust, cement and sand. I asked him, “Why did you not tell my roommate that you are my brother?”
He replied with a smile, “Look at my appearance. What will they think if they would know that I am your brother? Won’t they laugh at you?” I felt so touched, and tears filled my eyes. I swept away dirt and dust from my brother’s body. And told him with a lump in my throat, “I don’t care what people would say! You are my brother no matter what your appearance.”
From his pocket, he took out a butterfly hair clip. He put it on my hair and said, ‘I saw all the girls in town are wearing it. I think you should also have one.’ I could not hold back myself anymore. I pulled my brother into my arms and cried. That year, my brother was 20 years old and I was 23 years old.
After I got married, I lived in the city. Many times my husband invited my parents to come and live with us, but they didn’t want. They said once they left the village, they wouldn’t know what to do. My brother agreed with them. He said, “Sis, you just take care of your parents-in-law. I will take care of Mom and Dad here.”
My husband became the directors of his factory. We asked my brother to accept the offer of being the manager in the maintenance department. But my brother rejected the offer. He insisted on working as a repairman instead for a start.
One day, my brother was on the top of a ladder repairing a cable, when he got electrocuted, and was sent to the hospital. My husband and I visited him at the hospital. Looking at the plaster cast on his leg, I grumbled, “Why did you reject the offer of being a manager? Managers won’t do something dangerous like that. Now look at you – you are suffering a serious injury. Why didn’t you just listen to us?”
With a serious expression on his face, he defended his decision, “Think of your brother-in-law, he just became the director. If I, being uneducated, would become a manager, what kind of rumors would fly around?” My husband’s eyes filled up with tears, and then I said, “But you lack in education only because of me!”
“Why do you talk about the past?” he said and then he held my hand. That year, he was 26 years old and I was 29 years old. My brother was 30 years old when he married a farmer girl from the village. During the wedding reception, the master of ceremonies asked him, “Who is the one person you respect and love the most?”
Without even taking a time to think, he answered, “My sister.” He continued by telling a story I could not even remember. “When I was in primary school, the school was in a different village. Everyday, my sister and I would walk for 2 hours to school and back home. One day, I lost one of my gloves. My sister gave me one of hers. She wore only one glove and she had to walk far. When we got home, her hands were trembling because of the cold weather. She could not even hold her chopsticks. From that day on, I swore that as long as I lived, I would take care of my sister and would always be good to her.”
Applause filled up the room. All guests turned their attention to me. I found it hard to speak, “In my whole life, the one I would like to thank most is my brother,” And in this happy occasion, in front of the crowd, tears were rolling down my face again.
Moral: Love and care for the one you love every single day of your life. You may think what you did is just a small deed, but to that someone, it may mean a lot. Some relations are made to be last longer but they still need to be nurtured with love and care
Story for regrets
There was this guy who believed very much in true love and decided to take his time to wait for his right girl to appear. He believed that there would definitely be someone special out there for him, but none came. Every year at Christmas, his ex-girlfriend would return from Vancouver to look him up. He was aware that she still held some hope of re-kindling the past romance with him. He did not wish to mislead her in any way. So he would always get one of his girl friends to pose as his steady whenever she came back. That went on for several years and each year, the guy would get a different girl to pose as his romantic interest.
So whenever the ex-girlfriend came to visit him, she would be led into believing that it was all over between her and the guy. The girl took all those rather well, often trying to casually tease him about his different girlfriends, or so, as it seemed! In fact, the girl often wept in secret whenever she saw him with another girl, but she was too proud to admit it. Still, every Christmas, she returned, hoping to re-kindle some form of romance. But each time, she returned to Vancouver feeling disappointed.
Finally, she decided that she could not play that game any longer. Therefore, she confronted him and professed that after all those years, he was still the only man that she had ever loved. Although the guy knew of her feelings for him, he was still taken back and have never expected her to react that way. He always thought that she would slowly forget about him over time and come to terms that it was all over between them. Although he was touched by her undying love for him and wanted so much to accept her again, he remembered why he rejected her in the first place-she was not the one he wanted. So he hardened his heart and turned her down cruelly. Since then, three years have passed and the girl never returned anymore. They never even wrote to each other. The guy went on with his life… still searching for the one but somehow deep inside him, he missed the girl.
On the Christmas of 1995, he went to his friend’s party alone. “Hey, how come all alone this year? Where are all your girlfriends? What happened to that Vancouver babe who joins you every Christmas?”, asked one of his friends. He felt warm and comforted by his friend’s queries about her still, he just surged on.
Then, he came upon one of his many girlfriends whom he once requested to pose as his steady. He wanted so much to ignore her ….. not that he was impolite, but because at that moment, he just didn’t feel comfortable with those girlfriends anymore. It was almost like he was being judged by them. The girl saw him and shouted across the floor for him. Unable to avoid her, he went up to acknowledge her.
“Hi… how are you? Enjoying the party?” the girl asked.
“Sure… yeah!”, he replied.
She was slightly tipsy… must be from the whiskey on her hand. She continued, “Why? Don’t you need someone to pose as your girlfriend this year?” Then he answered, “No, there is no need for that anymore.”
Before he can continue, he was interrupted, “Oh yes! Must have found a girlfriend! You haven’t been searching for one for the past years, right?” The man looked up as if he has struck gold, his face beamed and looked directly at the drunken girl. He replied, “Yes… you are right! I haven’t been looking for
anyone for the past years.”
anyone for the past years.”
With that, the man darted across the floor and out the door, leaving the lady in much bewilderment. He finally realized that he has already found his dream girl, and she was… the Vancouver girl all along! The drunken lady has said something that awoken him.
All along he has found his girl. That was why he did not bother to look further when he realized she was not coming back. It was not any specific girl he was seeking! It was the perfection that he wanted, and yes… perfection! A Relationship is something both parties should work on. Realizing that he had let away someone so important in his life, he decided to call her immediately. His whole mind was flooded with fear. He was afraid that she might have found someone new or no longer had the same feelings anymore… For once, he felt the fear of losing someone.
As it was Christmas eve, the line was quite hard to get through, especially an overseas call. He tried again and again, never giving up. Finally, he got through…. precisely at 1200 midnight. He confessed his love for her and the girl was moved to tears. It seemed that she never got over him! Even after so long, she was still waiting for him, never giving up.
He was so excited to meet her and to begin his new chapter of their lives. He decided to fly to Vancouver to join her. It was the happiest time of their lives! But their happy time was short-lived. Two days before he was supposed to fly to Vancouver, he received a call from her father. She had a head-on car collision with a drunken driver. She passed away after 6 hours in a coma.
The guy was devastated, as it was a complete loss. Why did fate play such cruel games with him? He cursed the heaven for taking her away from him, denying even one last look at her! How cruel he cursed! How he damned the Gods…!! How he hated himself… for taking so long to realize his mistake!! That was in 1996.
Moral: Treasure what you have… Time is too slow for those who wait, Too swift for those who fear, Too long for those who grief, Too short for those who rejoice, But for those who love… Time is Eternity. For all you out there with someone special in your heart, cherish that person, cherish every moment that you spend together that special someone, for in life, anything can happen anytime. You may painfully regret, only to realize that it is too late.
A blind's man love
A man married a beautiful girl. He loved her very much. One day she developed a skin disease. Slowly she started to lose her beauty. It so happened that one day her husband left for a tour. While returning he met with an accident and lost his eyesight. However, their married life continued as usual. But as days passed she lost her beauty gradually. Blind husband did not know this and there was not any difference in their married life. He continued to love her and she also loved him very much. One day she died. Her death brought him a great sorrow. He finished all her last rites and wanted to leave that town.
A man from behind called and said, “Now how will you be able to walk all alone? All these days your wife used to help you”. He replied, “I am not blind. I was acting because if she knew l could see her skin condition due to a disease, it would have pained her more than her disease. I didn’t love her for her beauty alone, but I fell in love with her caring and loving nature. So I pretended to be blind. I only wanted to keep her happy”.
Moral: When you truly love someone, you will go to any extent to keep your loved one happy and sometimes it is good for us to act blind and ignore one another’s short comings in order to be happy. The Beauty will fade with time, but heart and soul will always be the same. Love the person for what he/she is from inside, not from outside.
The Conversation of Love and Marriage
A student asks a teacher, “Why often people marry a different person then they fell in love with?” The teacher said, “in order to answer your question, go to the wheat field and choose the best wheat and come back. But the rule is that you can go through them only once and cannot turn back to pick.” The student went to the field, went through the first row, he saw one big wheat which he instantly liked, but he wonders that maybe there is a bigger one further. Then he saw another bigger one, but again he thought that maybe there is an even bigger one waiting for him.
Later, when he finished more than half of the wheat field, he started to realize that the wheat is not as big as the ones he let go off, he started to realize that he had missed the best one in the search of a bigger. So, he ended up going back to the teacher with an empty hand because he just wasn’t able to forgive himself for letting go of the best wheat and described what happened. The teacher told him, “You kept looking for a better one while letting go of the best one and later when you realize that you have missed that, you can’t go back. This is the mistake often made by people who fell in love and lost the best person they could have in their life”.
So, the student said, “Does that mean, one should never fall in love?” The Teacher replied, “No Dear, Anyone can fall in love if they find a suitable person. But, once you truly fall in love, you must never let go of that person due to your anger, ego or comparisons with others”.
“How do they end up marrying someone other than they loved?” the student asked. The teacher said, “in order to answer your question, go to the corn field and choose the biggest corn and come back. But the rule is same as before, you can go through them only once and cannot turn back to pick.” The student went to the corn field, this time he was careful to not to repeat the previous mistake. When he reached to the middle of the field, he picked one medium corn that he felt satisfied with and went back to the teacher. He described how he made a choice. The teacher told him, “This time you didn’t came empty handed. You looked for one that is just nice, and you had put your faith that this is the best one you can get. This is how one makes a choice for marriage.”
The student stood confused. The teacher asked, “What is bothering you now?” The student replied, “I am wondering which would have been better, marrying a person you love or loving the person you marry”. The teacher replied, “It’s a very easy answer, only if you are willing to admit it to yourself”.
Moral: Life is like a basket of fruits. Either you have to make a choice of eating the fruit you love or be content with something that is healthy! Choose wisely else you may have to spend your life wondering, what if.. As long as you stay true to yourself and honest, you can’t go wrong with any of these two choices.
My Love Story, Loved then Betrayed.
Phase I:
The story started at the year 2013 November. I was in 8th standard, Like every student I was having a dream. But tragedy knocks the door without any early notice. A girl of my junior batch was having a crush on me, she was so curious, unfamiliar that she used to write love letters to me, cute her hands, write letters with her blood and send me. All I could do was make her understand that this is attraction not love. But her friends and mine forced me to love her, we all know that at certain age we get scared of some freak tales, similarly I was scared. I thought if she kills herself then I'll be responsible for this, and eventually I accepted her proposal. I was in a forceful relationship, a commitment that I never wanted. Our relationship was fine, good and all fine for 6 months. On May 2014, on her birthday I surprised her but she was unokay with the surprise and insulted me infront of her friends and mine too, I was really disappointed with her and I was controlling my anger in any way. Then after a month we got caught by our parents, so I went to her house to settle things down but she stabbed me from behind, she confessed all the lies and the reason she did it because she is a girl and in a society everybody blames the girl first then the boy. But here her reason was somewhere dumped, rather I was blamed, I was insulted. Society was making stories, tales on my name. After this my parents could not tolerate this and they sent me to my uncle's house. I stayed there for 3 months away from my parents, each day was like pain, it was killing, the separation of a son from his mother, the separation of a brother from his sister, the separation of a child from his father, but ultimately I found that this is not the end. My life deserves a second chance so hence I moved on. But the scares that she gave me was like an experience. I tried to get focused on my future, my career but life got twist and turns.
Phase II:
April 2015, I went to stay at a hostel. I was in 11th standard. This was the time for summer course, I was being taught the further schedule and programs regarding 11th and 12th standard course. So basically it was the time we stay and adjust ourselves in the hostel so like further there won't be queries regarding staying at a hostel. I was in the class one evening, sitting at the last bench saw a girl sitting at the best bench. Like it was a first sight love, I felt like there is some kind of connection with her like I've seen her before. Then our summer course got over, I went back home And tried to text that girl. I requested her at Facebook and we chatted for a month and then we exchanged our numbers pinged in WhatsApp and chatting continues. After 2 months like we are so known to each other and the connection was true though. She was my childhood friend, we had a 14 years of friendship but never talked to each other. Now though we were doing. Then one day she attempted suicide, and I was taken to the principal chamber. They forced me to confess that I did something that she attempted suicide, but I was not having any connection with this case. Then I was beaten by the teachers and warden, they forced me to write undertakings. But the day she returned I was so happy to see her, that I stand without any fear for someone I have fallen. She smiled looking at me, I was too happy. Then she said that she didn't attempt suicide, she took too many medicines that reacted her and she lost her sense. But we were friends, Till then I never expressed my feelings to her. So then one day we got caught writing messages on a table where I used to sit at the day time and she at evening, with all my guts I surrendered myself to save her. I was suspended for 7 days and she was sent to her home for counselling. For next 7 days we talked more and in between that I confessed her my feelings for her, I expressed my Love. But she left it all on God depending on his decision. The day she went back to hostel I cried, said,"I don't have the guts to see you going away from me."
I used to maintain a diary, I write about my days, my experience, my thoughts, my captured moments. So one day I sent her my diary and she returned me after a month with a message. The message swept my heart, skipped a beat. The message lettered by her was confessing that she loves me and started it on the day I first ever cried and told her that I don't have the guts to see you going away from me. I was so happy, my heart filled with all joys that day I realised God exists, God believes in love. From that till 2017 november 15 was all okay. Then she left me saying that she don't have any feelings for me, saying that no trust on love, I was left all alone and heart broken.
On 20th-October 2015 my love story started and ended on 15th-November 2017. Why she left me if you want to know text me on 7008791739.
Conclusion:
Every story have a end may be sad or may be happy ending. Mine was a sad ending because I failed to maintain a forcefull and my own wish relationship. I could say this was an experience which made me believe that life got twist and turns and love has different faces. But true love story has no ending. My love for her is eternal.
On day I will prove that from my entire life I've loved only one girl who made me believe in God. I'll prove that Love happens once. To love her I don't need herself, one sided love got it's own amazement.
The story started at the year 2013 November. I was in 8th standard, Like every student I was having a dream. But tragedy knocks the door without any early notice. A girl of my junior batch was having a crush on me, she was so curious, unfamiliar that she used to write love letters to me, cute her hands, write letters with her blood and send me. All I could do was make her understand that this is attraction not love. But her friends and mine forced me to love her, we all know that at certain age we get scared of some freak tales, similarly I was scared. I thought if she kills herself then I'll be responsible for this, and eventually I accepted her proposal. I was in a forceful relationship, a commitment that I never wanted. Our relationship was fine, good and all fine for 6 months. On May 2014, on her birthday I surprised her but she was unokay with the surprise and insulted me infront of her friends and mine too, I was really disappointed with her and I was controlling my anger in any way. Then after a month we got caught by our parents, so I went to her house to settle things down but she stabbed me from behind, she confessed all the lies and the reason she did it because she is a girl and in a society everybody blames the girl first then the boy. But here her reason was somewhere dumped, rather I was blamed, I was insulted. Society was making stories, tales on my name. After this my parents could not tolerate this and they sent me to my uncle's house. I stayed there for 3 months away from my parents, each day was like pain, it was killing, the separation of a son from his mother, the separation of a brother from his sister, the separation of a child from his father, but ultimately I found that this is not the end. My life deserves a second chance so hence I moved on. But the scares that she gave me was like an experience. I tried to get focused on my future, my career but life got twist and turns.
Phase II:
April 2015, I went to stay at a hostel. I was in 11th standard. This was the time for summer course, I was being taught the further schedule and programs regarding 11th and 12th standard course. So basically it was the time we stay and adjust ourselves in the hostel so like further there won't be queries regarding staying at a hostel. I was in the class one evening, sitting at the last bench saw a girl sitting at the best bench. Like it was a first sight love, I felt like there is some kind of connection with her like I've seen her before. Then our summer course got over, I went back home And tried to text that girl. I requested her at Facebook and we chatted for a month and then we exchanged our numbers pinged in WhatsApp and chatting continues. After 2 months like we are so known to each other and the connection was true though. She was my childhood friend, we had a 14 years of friendship but never talked to each other. Now though we were doing. Then one day she attempted suicide, and I was taken to the principal chamber. They forced me to confess that I did something that she attempted suicide, but I was not having any connection with this case. Then I was beaten by the teachers and warden, they forced me to write undertakings. But the day she returned I was so happy to see her, that I stand without any fear for someone I have fallen. She smiled looking at me, I was too happy. Then she said that she didn't attempt suicide, she took too many medicines that reacted her and she lost her sense. But we were friends, Till then I never expressed my feelings to her. So then one day we got caught writing messages on a table where I used to sit at the day time and she at evening, with all my guts I surrendered myself to save her. I was suspended for 7 days and she was sent to her home for counselling. For next 7 days we talked more and in between that I confessed her my feelings for her, I expressed my Love. But she left it all on God depending on his decision. The day she went back to hostel I cried, said,"I don't have the guts to see you going away from me."
I used to maintain a diary, I write about my days, my experience, my thoughts, my captured moments. So one day I sent her my diary and she returned me after a month with a message. The message swept my heart, skipped a beat. The message lettered by her was confessing that she loves me and started it on the day I first ever cried and told her that I don't have the guts to see you going away from me. I was so happy, my heart filled with all joys that day I realised God exists, God believes in love. From that till 2017 november 15 was all okay. Then she left me saying that she don't have any feelings for me, saying that no trust on love, I was left all alone and heart broken.
On 20th-October 2015 my love story started and ended on 15th-November 2017. Why she left me if you want to know text me on 7008791739.
Conclusion:
Every story have a end may be sad or may be happy ending. Mine was a sad ending because I failed to maintain a forcefull and my own wish relationship. I could say this was an experience which made me believe that life got twist and turns and love has different faces. But true love story has no ending. My love for her is eternal.
On day I will prove that from my entire life I've loved only one girl who made me believe in God. I'll prove that Love happens once. To love her I don't need herself, one sided love got it's own amazement.
A story of a broken girl
It started at a young age when she knew something was wrong with her. It was hard in the beginning the way he looked at her the way he touched her.Everything seemed to fade into black as she tasted the salty tears that fell from her eyes.She was scared at first that first time changed her. It's like living in a dark whole in your mind you don't want to be you anymore you want to hide in the tears that fall from your eyes you want to run but there's never a place to hide. So you sit there and fade into the eyes of the monster as he takes your screams as a invite to invaid your soul. Your cries go unheard your words go unspoken as you lay and watch every hope and dream go out the room. You look in the mirror at this broken girl who are you.Why can't they see what's happening why can't they save you no one is there no one cares. What happened to the sweet happy girl they once knew. That girl is dead she understands now who she is what she is. Days are dark the face of the monster is burned into her dreams. What is he a monster a ghost that haunts every memory what they see is not what is. That monster took who she was her dreams she's nothing more theshell of who she use to be. The time faded the days grew darker the nights grew longer. She awoke to find he was gone the days started to get brighter the monster was gone no more pain. It was hard for awhile every night she feared he would return. The nightmares started the fear of what he did. All the nights she layed awake crying remembering the evil snake that broke her flesh that made her bleed. The sound of his zipper peireced her ears every night.What was in his eyes was it regret was it fear nothing but pure evil. She wanted the nightmares to stop but they seemed to get worse every night. In bed she layed unspoken broken who was she a whore for letting this go on. It was a never ending nightmare she tried to escape from but it pulled her back down into the darkness everytime.
One person can steal it all over night your life can go from sunshine to rain in a few minutes. the look will haunt everything you do you can look in the mirror without seeing who you use to be. Who am I she whispers into the mirror that holds everything from the tears she cried to the blood dripping to the floor. She doesn't understand anything anymore her soul is darkened by the blood stained panties she hid away that holds her weak soul barley hanging on. Slowly walking towards the end of the bed that she once slept now only nightmares and broken dreams lay waiting for. She lays her weak body onto the bed hoping one day to be free from this. As soon as she closes her eyes she sees what could only be described as a soulless evil monster night after night she saw him getting near her. Everything seemed to slow down as he touched her scared cold body she begs but it never helps. What came the next night put her to ease knowing that night it would all be over. Walking to the dresser grabbing the only friend she's miever known. She stairs at the shiny blade that knew her pain thinking tonight I will sleep forever never to return.
she fills her lungs for the last time and splits her wrist over and over until the blade falls from her hand. Day dreaming of her soul leaving her cold lifeless body closing her eyes she sees the light. Almost dead as she hears the screams of her family asking why begging for her to live. They don't realize it's to late death has took her by the hand leading her to the smell of burning bodies. As she enters the fire she awakes to bright lights and doctors telling her she will be ok . The end she hoped for was stolen from her broken body cut weak and brushes by the sent of death. Death seemed so good at the time she said her goodbyes she to the world that has broken and shattered her not only on the inside but on the out too.
Her story only became worse as the doctors tried to figure out why she was so broken but no one understood. Should she lie and say it was the last time knowing it was only going to make it worse or should she tell the truth and get help. Could they handle the truth or would it break them too? she remembered the wind between her fingers as she went down the road no thinking just family who loved her who needed her. was she part of the last shattered army can she escape? Even when she's around her family she feels as if she doesn't belong! why is she so pushed away by everyone as if she's just trash in a sea of dark souls pulling her down farther into what they call happiness but how is it happiness when all she feels is lost. Is lost all she ever knows the feeling of never belonging never being loved never feeling like she's home. What does it mean to be loved is it just a story like the ones being told to kids the happy ever after never seeing the lies that they are told. They don't know about the flashbacks that only got worse as the day of flames approached. The day was ending when she closed her eyes the sour memory came into her sleepy eyes. It was cold outside but she could still feel the heat from the flames that glow in the night the smoke burned her nose as she cried. Her family stand beside her as she watched everything burn before her eyes. The smell the cold air the windows bursting as they run out the house. Everything was gone so fast as they fight the fire why must this happen what did we do wrong. The night grew to day as they sit in a hotel still crying still fighting. They was strong but there was one person stronger then the rest my hero my big sister the one who carried me to safety. She awoke to smoke and flames she picked the sleeping princess up fighting for air as the smoke covered the rooms. The flames spread so fast as we ran i still remember looking up and seeing the roof covered with orange and red flames spreading faster then the tears running down my cheeks.
That night I knew we would never be the same the fire took everything from us. The sound of windows busting still echos in my head as I close my eyes to fall asleep do they even understand who she was before this. She remembered the girl who gave her a praying bear after the fire saying it will be ok God has a plan. What fucking plan was this showing how fire can destroy a loving family turn them against each other what once was love is now a shadow in the mind of a broken child a child who will never see light in her mother's eyes again a child who will never hear her father say I love you again or a brother and sister as there protesters all of it gone. All they see in her now is the girl who tried to kill herself.....
they didn't know who she was they didn't care. The time was there she knew it wouldn't help but what could she do fight saying she was alright no this was not true she was broken shattered into that girl she needed help to save her from what they saw her as. As she walked in she saw the broken souls of what once was happy people destroyed by the world. would she be ok after all do they truly see who she is and want to fix how she feels. The story of her life was finally being told as hard as it is she would be ok or so she believed. the time she spent there was harder then what she thought it would be everyday remembered of what she tried to hide they promised it would help but it did nothing but bring the hate and anger back. She was done she wanted to go home why wont they let her leave why is it so hard to forget the things she was hiding how could they tell see her as strong when she wasn't. The anger started to rise like the sun I felt the heat
from the rage that boiled from within as
I screamed not stopping even as the tears ran down i couldn't stop I just
needed all my anger to be heard.
They all came running to see this girl they all thought was strong break so fast. What they saw was someone not only haunted by her past but a girl that had nothing else in this world she was nothing but a lost soul looking for something that isn't there. The anger was the last voice she had and she wanted everyone to hear it.
What came next shocked everyone as she raised from the floor she screamed to the top of her lungs and drove her nails into her wrist going as deep as she could. Tears still running down her cheeks she felt the blood and a evil smile came to her face as she felt the warmth of the anger and pain leaving her body. The nurses come so fast she can't even think before they grab her and take her to the padded room.
Her mind was full of voices telling her she was nothing,she was a whore,she was a broken piece of shit as she lays there tears fall as she ask God why he would do this to her? why would he be so cruel? does she deserve this what did she do so wrong? Is this what life is being told your nothing being hurt having her life mean nothing. How can she live knowing she's nothing to the world!
All she knows is hate and pain what is life truly about to be hated to be used to be a worthless whore? will the pain ever stop will her heart stay broken will the evil one take the rest of her? Things will never change this is all she will ever know!
as they take the last piece of self respect she had they all look happy as she looks up at them and prays for the end to come she can't live this life she's better off dead this isn't life it's hell she screams as they slam the door. She hears the muffled screams of the other broken souls but can't do anything to help them she can't even help herself! All the lies she has told to her family and friends echo in her head as the screams get louder. That one night turned her into a liar a whore a girl that no one would ever love.
She should have told them what he did to her what they all did to her but fear stopped her how could they not see? We're they blind or just scared like she was so many questions enter her mind keeping her awake the evil one caused it to began when he entered that night it was over her life ended she was a shell! When the other entered her life she was already broken she was gone and no one knew......
One turned into five so fast she was just their toy they all used her she couldn't fight anymore she couldn't scream she was lifeless as they took turns taking the rest of her body and destroying it. She lay there naked scared but her voice gone God please take me she kept saying in her mind as there cold hands touch her over and over why do they keep doing this she was already dirty she was already gone but they wanted more she had nothing else but they still used her broken body for their pleasure after they was done she put her clothes on walked to her room and cried that whole night no one would even believe her what was she to do.
she wasn't the only one they hurt. Rose was only 11 when they hurt her I was 16 we found peace in knowing we had each other her legs bruised as they pulled them apart her voice lost from the screams blood still running from her mouth eyes full of tears I grab her and hold her close I know she can't keep going if she wanted a normal life I was already broken so I take her place promise not to scream or fight to keep her safe I was older I could handle it she was just a kid she didn't need to know the pain of this. I kept my promise not to fight or scream as they have their way with me I do as they wish just hoping she's ok. I held it all in all the feeling all the tears all of it not letting a single word out until now.
One person can steal it all over night your life can go from sunshine to rain in a few minutes. the look will haunt everything you do you can look in the mirror without seeing who you use to be. Who am I she whispers into the mirror that holds everything from the tears she cried to the blood dripping to the floor. She doesn't understand anything anymore her soul is darkened by the blood stained panties she hid away that holds her weak soul barley hanging on. Slowly walking towards the end of the bed that she once slept now only nightmares and broken dreams lay waiting for. She lays her weak body onto the bed hoping one day to be free from this. As soon as she closes her eyes she sees what could only be described as a soulless evil monster night after night she saw him getting near her. Everything seemed to slow down as he touched her scared cold body she begs but it never helps. What came the next night put her to ease knowing that night it would all be over. Walking to the dresser grabbing the only friend she's miever known. She stairs at the shiny blade that knew her pain thinking tonight I will sleep forever never to return.
she fills her lungs for the last time and splits her wrist over and over until the blade falls from her hand. Day dreaming of her soul leaving her cold lifeless body closing her eyes she sees the light. Almost dead as she hears the screams of her family asking why begging for her to live. They don't realize it's to late death has took her by the hand leading her to the smell of burning bodies. As she enters the fire she awakes to bright lights and doctors telling her she will be ok . The end she hoped for was stolen from her broken body cut weak and brushes by the sent of death. Death seemed so good at the time she said her goodbyes she to the world that has broken and shattered her not only on the inside but on the out too.
Her story only became worse as the doctors tried to figure out why she was so broken but no one understood. Should she lie and say it was the last time knowing it was only going to make it worse or should she tell the truth and get help. Could they handle the truth or would it break them too? she remembered the wind between her fingers as she went down the road no thinking just family who loved her who needed her. was she part of the last shattered army can she escape? Even when she's around her family she feels as if she doesn't belong! why is she so pushed away by everyone as if she's just trash in a sea of dark souls pulling her down farther into what they call happiness but how is it happiness when all she feels is lost. Is lost all she ever knows the feeling of never belonging never being loved never feeling like she's home. What does it mean to be loved is it just a story like the ones being told to kids the happy ever after never seeing the lies that they are told. They don't know about the flashbacks that only got worse as the day of flames approached. The day was ending when she closed her eyes the sour memory came into her sleepy eyes. It was cold outside but she could still feel the heat from the flames that glow in the night the smoke burned her nose as she cried. Her family stand beside her as she watched everything burn before her eyes. The smell the cold air the windows bursting as they run out the house. Everything was gone so fast as they fight the fire why must this happen what did we do wrong. The night grew to day as they sit in a hotel still crying still fighting. They was strong but there was one person stronger then the rest my hero my big sister the one who carried me to safety. She awoke to smoke and flames she picked the sleeping princess up fighting for air as the smoke covered the rooms. The flames spread so fast as we ran i still remember looking up and seeing the roof covered with orange and red flames spreading faster then the tears running down my cheeks.
That night I knew we would never be the same the fire took everything from us. The sound of windows busting still echos in my head as I close my eyes to fall asleep do they even understand who she was before this. She remembered the girl who gave her a praying bear after the fire saying it will be ok God has a plan. What fucking plan was this showing how fire can destroy a loving family turn them against each other what once was love is now a shadow in the mind of a broken child a child who will never see light in her mother's eyes again a child who will never hear her father say I love you again or a brother and sister as there protesters all of it gone. All they see in her now is the girl who tried to kill herself.....
they didn't know who she was they didn't care. The time was there she knew it wouldn't help but what could she do fight saying she was alright no this was not true she was broken shattered into that girl she needed help to save her from what they saw her as. As she walked in she saw the broken souls of what once was happy people destroyed by the world. would she be ok after all do they truly see who she is and want to fix how she feels. The story of her life was finally being told as hard as it is she would be ok or so she believed. the time she spent there was harder then what she thought it would be everyday remembered of what she tried to hide they promised it would help but it did nothing but bring the hate and anger back. She was done she wanted to go home why wont they let her leave why is it so hard to forget the things she was hiding how could they tell see her as strong when she wasn't. The anger started to rise like the sun I felt the heat
from the rage that boiled from within as
I screamed not stopping even as the tears ran down i couldn't stop I just
needed all my anger to be heard.
They all came running to see this girl they all thought was strong break so fast. What they saw was someone not only haunted by her past but a girl that had nothing else in this world she was nothing but a lost soul looking for something that isn't there. The anger was the last voice she had and she wanted everyone to hear it.
What came next shocked everyone as she raised from the floor she screamed to the top of her lungs and drove her nails into her wrist going as deep as she could. Tears still running down her cheeks she felt the blood and a evil smile came to her face as she felt the warmth of the anger and pain leaving her body. The nurses come so fast she can't even think before they grab her and take her to the padded room.
Her mind was full of voices telling her she was nothing,she was a whore,she was a broken piece of shit as she lays there tears fall as she ask God why he would do this to her? why would he be so cruel? does she deserve this what did she do so wrong? Is this what life is being told your nothing being hurt having her life mean nothing. How can she live knowing she's nothing to the world!
All she knows is hate and pain what is life truly about to be hated to be used to be a worthless whore? will the pain ever stop will her heart stay broken will the evil one take the rest of her? Things will never change this is all she will ever know!
as they take the last piece of self respect she had they all look happy as she looks up at them and prays for the end to come she can't live this life she's better off dead this isn't life it's hell she screams as they slam the door. She hears the muffled screams of the other broken souls but can't do anything to help them she can't even help herself! All the lies she has told to her family and friends echo in her head as the screams get louder. That one night turned her into a liar a whore a girl that no one would ever love.
She should have told them what he did to her what they all did to her but fear stopped her how could they not see? We're they blind or just scared like she was so many questions enter her mind keeping her awake the evil one caused it to began when he entered that night it was over her life ended she was a shell! When the other entered her life she was already broken she was gone and no one knew......
One turned into five so fast she was just their toy they all used her she couldn't fight anymore she couldn't scream she was lifeless as they took turns taking the rest of her body and destroying it. She lay there naked scared but her voice gone God please take me she kept saying in her mind as there cold hands touch her over and over why do they keep doing this she was already dirty she was already gone but they wanted more she had nothing else but they still used her broken body for their pleasure after they was done she put her clothes on walked to her room and cried that whole night no one would even believe her what was she to do.
she wasn't the only one they hurt. Rose was only 11 when they hurt her I was 16 we found peace in knowing we had each other her legs bruised as they pulled them apart her voice lost from the screams blood still running from her mouth eyes full of tears I grab her and hold her close I know she can't keep going if she wanted a normal life I was already broken so I take her place promise not to scream or fight to keep her safe I was older I could handle it she was just a kid she didn't need to know the pain of this. I kept my promise not to fight or scream as they have their way with me I do as they wish just hoping she's ok. I held it all in all the feeling all the tears all of it not letting a single word out until now.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)